When out on safari, inevitably, one needs to relieve oneself. Finding an appropriate bush or tree is a serious endeavor that requires careful consideration. At
home, when hiking, it is sufficient to merely find a bush, tree, or rock with enough girth to hide behind and drop your pants. You don’t want to become a carcass some leopard has dragged up a tree for safekeeping.
Here, you have to ensure there are no charging animals, no snakes, no leopards or lions hiding nearby, and no fire ants. Bert and I developed a strategy: we’d go together and sit with our backs to each other (at a suitable distance), ensuring that we would be alerted to any danger approaching. Of course, if a dangerous animal were in the vicinity, I doubt either of us could get our pants up fast enough and get back to the truck in time. You only have to outrun the other person, right? There are hundreds of ways to get killed while out on safari…
And oh yes, make sure you don’t drop your pants right onto the low-growing Sticky Bush. The little tiny nettles that stick to everything are hell to get out of your undies and make for an incredibly uncomfortable remainder of your day.
I know I will never learn all the birds’ names, identify the different scat, or save myself if a water buffalo charges, but I can now identify the Sticky Bush!
